she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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