is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
