I am in a vortex of obligation.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
