Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My feet surprised me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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