Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
