Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
