I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
