Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
