I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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