yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
