Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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