if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
