theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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