im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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