The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize