to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
