so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
