Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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