He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Will exercising make me less horny?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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