just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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