I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
