Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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