At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
