Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
