Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
