Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
