dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
