ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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