You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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