im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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