How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
