Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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