Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
