I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
