dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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