You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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