I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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