Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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