if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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