You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
