I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
