Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
