that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
