He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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