Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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