Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
