When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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