In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
