your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
