there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
