dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
