Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
