Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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